This morning during my time having coffee with Christ, a burden weighed heavily on my heart. It is something I have written about before, spoken about before, and wrestled with in prayer many times. Yet today it felt different. There was an urgency to it—a warning that seemed impossible to ignore.
Everywhere I look, I see a growing trend that sounds loving on the surface but often leads people further from the truth. It is rooted in compassion, wrapped in kindness, and motivated by a desire not to hurt anyone’s feelings. Yet despite its good intentions, it often produces devastating spiritual consequences.
I have come to call it toxic empathy.
On my drive to work, I pass a church sign that reads, “All Are Welcome.” Those words are beautiful. In fact, they reflect the very heart of Christ. Jesus welcomed sinners, tax collectors, prostitutes, lepers, and outcasts. He sat with those whom society rejected and showed them a love unlike anything they had ever known.
The gospel is not exclusive in its invitation.
Anyone can come.
Everyone is welcome.
But the invitation of Christ was never an invitation to remain unchanged.
This is where many people stumble.
One of the most common statements I hear today is, “Jesus accepts everyone.”
That statement is absolutely true.
But it is only half of the truth.
Jesus accepts everyone who comes to Him, but He never affirms everything they bring with them.
When the religious leaders dragged the woman caught in adultery before Him, Jesus stopped her execution and silenced her accusers. He showed incredible mercy and compassion. Yet His final words were not, “Continue living as you are.”
Instead, He said:
“Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.”
— John 8:11 (KJV)
Grace was freely given.
Repentance was expected.
Jesus did not come to make people comfortable in their sin. He came to rescue them from it.
From the very beginning of His ministry, His message was clear:
“Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.”
— Matthew 4:17 (KJV)
True compassion does not celebrate the chains that bind someone. True compassion helps break them.
Toxic empathy begins when our desire to make people feel accepted becomes greater than our desire to see them set free. It comforts people while leaving them trapped in the very things that are destroying them.
The world often views correction as cruelty and truth as hatred. Yet Scripture warns us about this very reversal of moral standards:
“Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness.”
— Isaiah 5:20 (KJV)
We are living in a time when many churches and teachers feel pressured to soften biblical truth in order to avoid offending people. The problem is that a gospel that never confronts sin cannot save anyone from it.
The Apostle Paul warned Timothy that this day would come:
“For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears;
And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.”
— 2 Timothy 4:3-4 (KJV)
God’s love is unconditional.
His approval is not.
That distinction matters.
Many people want a Savior without a Lord. They want forgiveness without repentance. They want heaven without surrender.
Yet Scripture teaches something entirely different.
“But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”
— Romans 5:8 (KJV)
Jesus died because we were sinners, not because sin was acceptable.
His sacrifice was an act of love designed to transform us.
“Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness.”
— 1 Peter 2:24 (KJV)
God created humanity with free will because genuine love requires a choice. He does not force obedience. He invites surrender.
And that invitation remains open to everyone.
No matter your past.
No matter your failures.
No matter your struggles.
Jesus welcomes you.
But following Him requires that you lay down your life and take up your cross.
As Jesus Himself said:
“If ye love me, keep my commandments.”
— John 14:15 (KJV)
This is where toxic empathy collides with biblical truth.
Biblical love says, “Come as you are.”
Toxic empathy says, “Stay as you are.”
Biblical love says, “Christ can set you free.”
Toxic empathy says, “You don’t need freedom.”
Biblical love points people toward transformation.
Toxic empathy teaches people to find comfort in bondage.
Jesus left no room for confusion about the path to eternal life:
“I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.”
— John 14:6 (KJV)
Grace is free.
But it is not cheap.
It cost the Son of God His life.
Real love speaks truth even when truth is uncomfortable.
Real love risks rejection in order to rescue someone from destruction.
As Scripture reminds us:
“Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”
— Proverbs 27:6 (KJV)
Empathy rooted in Scripture leads to conviction, repentance, healing, and freedom.
Empathy disconnected from truth leaves people bound while convincing them they are free.
And chains, no matter how gently they are explained, are still chains.
Final Thoughts
The answer is not less love.
The answer is not more judgment.
The answer is the same balance we see in Jesus Christ—full of grace and full of truth.
He welcomed sinners.
He loved sinners.
He died for sinners.
And then He called sinners to follow Him.
May we have the courage to do the same.
💭 Reflection: Is my compassion leading people toward Christ, or merely helping them feel comfortable where they are? Am I speaking the truth in love, or withholding truth out of fear of offending others?
🙏 Prayer: Heavenly Father, help me to love people the way Jesus loved them. Give me a heart full of compassion, but never at the expense of Your truth. Teach me to speak with grace, wisdom, and courage. Let my words point people not to comfort in their sin, but to the freedom found in Christ. May I reflect both Your mercy and Your holiness in all that I do. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
IN Christ
Jeffrey Trester
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